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Your partner will play into this, claiming that other people are just jealous of what you have or are just trying to bring you two down. For example, if someone hurts them, they feel they have a right to retaliate.If a teacher fails them, or a coworker says something bad about them, they feel entitled to revenge.
Of course, your partner is allowed to do whatever he or she wants and you are not allowed to question them, but they will control everything you do. You can’t control what happened to them, and you can’t solve it for them.
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Even if you were perfect, your partner would make you out to be completely messed up. They can be funny, easy-going, exciting, attractive. You feel a pull to them, and they make you feel special. They act as if they are the smartest, hottest, richest or most successful person and everyone knows it. You did something wrong first to make them explode.
If he or she does something that is clearly wrong, they will find a way to turn it back around on you. They will even tell you this if they get the chance. The police have always been out to get them even though they never do anything wrong.
It takes a while to get going, but I believe the background is important. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My name is Donal Liam Padraig O'Sullivan. I suppose, when you follow the good Catholic example of spawning enough children to start a family sports team, there will be survivors, and if a muti-generational family reunion were to happen... With five older sisters, twenty cousins spread across five maternal aunts and one uncle, and 18 more from my father's side, we were nearly a nation of our own.
If you're looking for a quickie, this may not be for you. If you read it with your best Irish lilt, or perhaps using your leprechaun impression, it rolls off the tongue easier, and accurately conveys my lineage. I gave up trying to figure it out beyond my great grandparents... Let's just say the O'Sullivan genes were well spread out across the world.
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It seems like your partner is two completely different people. Your partner finds faults with your friends or makes you feel bad or uncomfortable about any time you spend with other people. You want to believe that this is possible, but the cycle keeps repeating and each time your self-esteem is chipped away at, bit by bit. He might hit or kick your dog whenever he comes over.
Each time he hurts you, he apologizes and promises that it will never happen again or that he will change. Your partner knows your weaknesses and he goes after your most vulnerable parts, hurting you where he knows it will do the most damage. You feel ashamed, lost, alone, confused, numb, afraid, crazy, stupid, ugly, fat, worthless, embarrassed, unloveable, wrong. Your partner tortures animals, is mean to children, or nasty to waitresses.
One day, he is caring and loving and wonderful, and the next he is hateful and raging and mean. You are afraid to talk, or when you do talk you feel like you are never heard, your words are taken out of context, misunderstood, or blatantly ignored. In the beginning of a relationship they might seem like everything you ever wanted….usually this is because they are trying to act like everything you ever wanted. You have no support group and therefore your partner gains more power. He or she might be mean to people they think are “below them” or people who are defenseless, like babies or children.