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23-Dec-2019 15:53 by 5 Comments

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Everyone asks if he is there to buy tulips, and he says no, the Netherlands’ tulip bubble has long since collapsed, and the price is down to a guilder or two.

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The pro-subsidy faction declares that the people asking these question are well-off, and can probably afford tulips of their own, and so from their place of privilege they are trying to raise pointless objections to other people being able to obtain the connubial happiness they themselves enjoy.But nowadays they use daffodils to mark engagements, and their economy has never been better. In America, aspiring doctors do four years of undergrad in whatever area they want (I did Philosophy), then four more years of medical school, for a total of eight years post-high school education.In Ireland, aspiring doctors go straight from high school to medical school and finish after five years. The doctors in both countries are about equally good. Imagine a little kingdom with a quaint custom: when a man likes a woman, he offers her a tulip; if she accepts, they are married shortly thereafter.A couple who marries sans tulip is considered to be living in sin; no other form of proposal is appropriate or accepted.There’s no evidence whatsoever that American doctors gain anything from those three extra years of undergrad. Why is having a philosophy degree under my belt supposed to make me any better at medicine?

(I guess I might have acquired a talent for colorectal surgery through long practice pulling things out of my ass, but it hardly seems worth it.) I’ll make another confession.

Ireland’s medical school is five years as opposed to America’s four because the Irish spend their first year teaching the basic sciences – biology, organic chemistry, physics, calculus.

When I applied to medical school in Ireland, they offered me an accelerated four year program on the grounds that I had surely gotten all of those in my American undergraduate work. I read some books about them over the summer and did just fine. Irishmen can do it in four, and achieve the same result.

Tulip-growers make a fortune, but everyone else is less pleased.

Suitors wishing to give a token of their love find themselves having to invest their entire life savings – with no guarantee that the woman will even say yes!

Soon other Dutch traders show up and start a bidding war.

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