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Sometimes I reason that perhaps my romantic relationships with these gay men are strong evidence for the fluidity of sexuality.My experiences dating men who later came to identify as gay were no different than my experiences dating straight men.
I slept with a lot of people and was strategically mean to the ones who were nice to me.Apart from informing them that these guys went on to date other women after dating me, my response usually entails asking them to hop in a time machine and join me in the 21st century.My taste in men is certainly influenced by my identity as a feminist and maybe only a slight fascination with intellectual male models.We're like two people in a film who will eventually realize that they're meant to be together, except that we are as comfortably out of love as two people can be.And that's why it works: Because part of the joy of dating is getting to that post-breakup place where you can comfortably make fun of how inexorably broken you both are inside, right?As a Political Science major and Gender and Sexuality Studies minor, I have read more Judith Butler than might be healthy.
Thus, I am well aware that gender is a performance very much bound up in sexuality and am not very concerned with the level of “heterosexual masculinity” being emitted by whomever I am dating.
But I wondered how he was, whether to get in touch with him or just be content that the mention of his name suddenly had no adverse effect on my blood pressure. It's easy to stay friends with people you've dated casually, or maybe slept with once or twice before deciding you just couldn't tolerate that haircut. One of the hardest things to do is learn to re-love someone whom you really messed up and were messed up by in return. There can be no lingering feelings of romance or resentment if you wish to achieve true blissful Statler and Waldorf-hood.
I sent him a message saying we should get a drink, carefully engineered to allow him to decline politely or not answer at all. Depending on the day, I believe that love is at best a chemical lie or, at worst, a construct designed to keep us from murdering our offspring like sea birds. What we've carefully built in the past few years is something entirely different, something settled and caring and easy.
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