Just friends vs dating
Just friends vs dating
Have you ever noticed that a lot of people find love when they're not looking very hard for it?
Or the person who does the asking doesn't pay—that can be a date too. The point is that it's a date if the check comes and nobody knows what to do about it.
Go ahead and hang out with someone if you're just getting to know him or her. They hang out perpetually, creating confusion and tension that could easily be dissipated by asking someone on a date.
By all means, don't ask a person out just because you think he or she is cute but know nothing else about them. I often get the questions: Figuring that out is the easy part.
I don't care if you're the most self-confident, well-adjusted person around; rejection hurts. So instead of asking the person on a date, you go on approximations of dates that allow for plausible deniability of all romantic intentions. Fear of rejection alone has resulted in the proliferation of Starbucks like a French-roasted virus.
It makes the remaining friendship awkward at best, and humiliating at worst. People suffer through this in the hope that the object of their affection will eventually buckle and reveal his or her true feelings. They keep making up excuses to hang out, hedging all their bets and waiting for God to give them a sign.
And that just happens to make them more attractive. We have something, or rather Someone, who's eager to give our life a sense of mission, meaning, and value.
At some point, someone decided it wasn't cool to let someone know that you're interested in him or her. That can be the case sometimes, but it's not true if you've taken care of step 1 above.
Dating: If he makes plans Tuesday for Friday, because in his love-struck eyes, you are worth keeping a calendar for.
Hanging out: If you go Dutch because obviously you're going to go Dutch, no discomfort, no uncertainty, no question, no stress, no panic, wallets out for everybody.
It's not terrorism, economic recession, global warming or gasoline prices that could hit per gallon by the time you're done reading this.
These things might worry you, but something else makes your palms sweat and your pulse hit triple digits: asking someone out on a date.
If you've been down this road before, you know that it's seldom successful.